Who Should I Reach Out to Right Now? 8 Signals Hidden in Your Network

01Signal 1: Someone changed roles#

A job change is one of the most natural reasons to reconnect because there is already something meaningful to talk about, although I would go beyond the standard “Congratulations on the new role” message and think about whether their move changes how your worlds might overlap.

A former colleague who moves into a company you have been trying to understand, a client who becomes a CEO, or someone who enters an industry you are exploring has changed not only their job title but potentially the role that relationship could play in your life.

The message should still begin with them rather than your agenda, because “Congratulations, can you introduce me to your CMO?” is technically personalized but emotionally not much better than spam.

02Signal 2: Something changed for you#

Sometimes the signal is not in their life but in yours, because a new role, company, business, career direction or professional goal can suddenly make an old relationship relevant again.

When I started building Virre, I began looking at relationships I had formed over decades through a completely different lens, because people I had once known as colleagues or industry peers were now potential customers, advisers, connectors, investors or simply people who understood a problem I was trying to solve.

This does not mean turning every relationship into an opportunity, because that would be exhausting for everyone involved, but it does mean recognizing that relevance changes as our goals change.

03Signal 3: You promised something#

One of the most underrated reasons to reach out is also one of the simplest, because if you promised to send an article, make an introduction, review something, reconnect after a milestone or check back in a few months, the best relationship-building move is usually to do exactly what you said you would do.

I have learned that trust is often built through very ordinary moments of follow-through rather than impressive acts of networking, because people remember when someone listens carefully enough to remember what was promised.

Relationships rarely disappear because of one dramatic mistake; they usually fade through small promises that neither person remembers to keep.

04Signal 4: They reached an important milestone#

A promotion, funding round, product launch, company acquisition, published article, award, speaking engagement or important project gives you a genuine reason to reconnect without inventing one.

The important part is to avoid treating every public update as an excuse to insert yourself, because there is a large difference between noticing something meaningful about a person you know and mechanically congratulating everyone whose job-change notification appears in your feed.

05Signal 5: You now have something useful for them#

The easiest relationship to maintain is one where every conversation does not begin with what you need, which is why I increasingly pay attention when I meet someone, read something or discover an opportunity that immediately reminds me of another person.

It could be an article relevant to a problem they mentioned, a candidate for a role they are trying to fill, an introduction that might help them, or simply information they would genuinely appreciate, because usefulness gives the relationship a natural reason to continue without manufacturing another “just checking in” message.

06Signal 6: You are both going to the same event#

Most people think networking begins when they enter the conference room, although by that point many of the people they most wanted to meet already have dinners, coffee meetings and twenty-minute conversations scheduled across the entire event.

If you know a former colleague, customer, investor, industry leader or potential partner will be attending the same conference, reaching out beforehand usually produces a much better conversation than hoping to bump into them beside the coffee machine.

07Signal 7: The relationship has gone quiet, but the context is still strong#

Some relationships deserve to be restarted simply because too much time has passed, particularly when there was genuine history between you and the silence came from busy lives rather than a damaged relationship.

Research on dormant and weaker professional ties has repeatedly shown that people outside our everyday circles can connect us to different information and opportunities, which is one reason I have become more interested in the valuable people we once knew than in constantly adding strangers to our networks.

The message does not need an elaborate apology for disappearing, because most people are equally busy, and something as natural as “I was thinking about the project we worked on together and realized it has been far too long since we spoke” often works better than pretending no time has passed.

08Signal 8: They are unusually relevant to a goal you care about now#

This is the signal I think most networking tools miss, because the person who deserves attention is not always the person you spoke with most recently or the person with the most impressive title.

If your goal is entering a new industry, the relevant person may be the former colleague who made the same move three years ago, while if you are raising capital, it may be an operator who knows several investors but has never invested personally, and if you want a board role, it may be someone who understands governance and has seen your work closely enough to advocate for you.

This is why I wanted Virre to begin with goals rather than contacts, because Goal Mapping, relationship analysis, Timeline, Notes and Next Best Actions are designed to connect the question “What am I trying to do?” with the much more useful question “Who in my world may matter now, and why?”

09A ten-minute exercise I use#

Choose one goal that matters during the next six months and write down the names of people connected to that goal under four simple questions: who has relevant experience, who knows people I should know, who has already offered help or advice, and who have I allowed to become unnecessarily distant.

Once you have those names, do not message all of them, because that turns thoughtful relationship management back into a campaign; instead, choose the three where there is a genuine reason for a conversation now and start there.

The interesting thing about professional networks is that opportunities are constantly moving even when we are not paying attention, because people change companies, gain influence, start businesses, raise funds, learn new things and enter new circles while their names continue sitting exactly where they always were in our contact lists.

Your network is changing even on the days when you are doing nothing with it, which is why timing can make an old relationship newly important.

The question I now ask myself is therefore not whether I have networked enough this month, because I am increasingly convinced that this is the wrong measurement entirely, but whether I noticed the few relationships where something changed and whether I showed up while the moment still made sense.

That, to me, is what relationship intelligence looks like in practice.

Try Virre and discover who matters, why they matter, and when to reach out.